Harry the Wizard
by Darkbluestars
Summary: I couldn't resist. if you know Charlie the unicorn then you should like this. read and find out.


I couldn't help my self. I've been watching the video so much I thought it will come out my ears. So listen and hope you'll like it. This is not my work, I did write it, but not the original one. Oh and I do not own J. K. Rowling. Thank you.

* * *

It was a bright sunny day. Harry was sleeping in because it was a Saturday. Feeling the cover above him smiled, half asleep, smelled the fresh air.

"Hey, Harry! Hey Harry wake up!" Someone that sounded like Hermione, but not. He opened one eye to see Hermione smiling strangely at him. Then his frustrating breathe and closed his eyes to get more sleep.

"Yeah Harry, you silly sleepy head wake up." This time it sounded like Ron.

Harry groan opening up his eyes again and seeing Ron also smiling very strangely. "Oh, god you guys, this better be bloody hell important. Is Voldemort destroying a town?"

"No Harry, we found a map to candy mountain. CANDY MOUNTAIN HARRY!!" Hermione screamed out the last sentence.

"Yeah Harry, where going to candy mountain. Come with us Harry."

"Yeah Harry, it'll be an adventure. Where going on an adventure Harry." Ron applied.

Harry starred at them like they have flipped there lids. '_Okaaaay. I should say something.' _Harry still looked at then weird, his eye lids half opened. "Yeeaah, candy mountain right... I'm just gonna you know, go back to sleep now." said Harry flipping on the other side to get away from the two idiots he calls friends.

"NOOOOO! Harry, you have to come with us to candy mountain" Said Hermione jumping on Harry bed with him in it.

"Yeah Harry, candy mountain it's a land of sweets and joy... and joyness." What Ron said was blocked off by Harry looking at the two.

Hermione jumping on his bed and Ron looked like he was off to who knows where. Harry then started to get annoyed by this and was getting more frustrated. "Please stopped bouncing on me."

Which none of them heard what he asked Hermione to do.

" Candy mountain Harry."

"Yeah, candy mountain."

Hearing the two bickering back and forth gave him a mine grain. Sighing a really deep sigh and turned to see the two smiling at creepy smile. " ALRIGHT FINE! I'LL GO WITH YOU TO CANDY MOUNTAIN!" screaming and getting up. '_This day can't get any worse then this.'_ putting on some cloths and the three walked out the room.

"La lala lalalala lalala lalala la.." Ron and Hermione singed, skipping on Hogwarts grounds, while Harry was in the back, rubbing his tipple.

"UH! Enough with the singing already." Harry declared.

"Are first stop is over there." Hermione said. Pointing to the forbidden forest. They stopped at the entrance to the forest. Hearing clicking sounds Harry, in instinct, tried to get his wand, then figuring that he forgot it while the two jarheads where annoying him. Then in the shadows a scary and ugly creature came out. It wasn't the spiders Ron and him saw in there second year. It was more skinny with its ugly four sharp claws on it's mouth, and it's spiky back made it a scary costume for the Halloween dance.

' _Great, just great. All I wanted to do was go to sleep, but no these two beeves and butthead are so bloody annoying I might want to die by Voldemorts hands. Not there nagging voices.' _Still shocked by the creature he couldn't help, but blurt out something. " Oh, god. What is that?"

"It's a Acromantula Harry." Hermione said on his right side.

'It's a magical Acromantula."

"It's going to guide are way to candy mountain."

Harry looked up in the sunny sky and mouth out 'why'. "Alright guys. Do you know there's no actual candy mountain, right?" Harry explained.

"Shun the nonbeliever."

"SHUUUN!"

"SHHHHHHUU-UUU-NNNN-AAA!"

Harry was about to go bonkers. Harry to another deep breathe to calm down. "Yeah..."

Then hearing a clicking sound, which was horrible and felt like someone was scratching on a chalk board.

"It has spoken." Hermione cheered.

"It has told us the waaaaaaaayyyy." Ron said. The two walked ahead and Harry still trying to figure out what was going on. Then he realized something.

"HEY! IT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!" he yelled back to them, but they kept on going. '_Cross that out. My day can get worse.'_ he thought catching up with them.

Harry and the two loon agoons where walking on a bridge that looked like it was going to the middle of the forest, but the problem was that no one went out to the forest this far. So the bridge really was old. The bridge swayed side to side making Harry a little uncomfortable.

"It's just over this bridge Harry." Hermione announced.

"This magical bridge of hope and wonder."

"Is anyone else, like covered in splinters? Seriously guys, we shouldn't be on this thing."

"Harrrry! Harrrrrrrry! Haaaarrrrrry! Harrrr..." Hermione was interrupted.

"I'M RIGHT HERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Harry said, nervousness in his voice.

"Where on a bridge Harrrrry." Harry then groaned, but it sounded like a tired groan.

"Where here." Ron said. The three walked up to a pile of candy that looked like a mountain.

"Well what do you know. There's actually a candy mountain." more to himself then the other two.

"Candy mountain, candy mountain, you feel me with sweets sugary goodness." Hermione singed, dancing in front of the entrance, then came back quickly on Harry side.

"Go inside the candy mountain cave Harry." Ron said which actually sounded like a demand.

"Yeah Harry go inside the cave, magical wonders that would behold you when you enter."

"Yeah, uh, thanks, but thanks. I'm going to stay out here." Harry said.

"But you have to enter the candy mountain cave Harry..." Ron demanded again. Harry was about to leave when he heard singing and it didn't come from Ron or Hermione. Fairies flew out holding hands, but one out of the punch came out of the group and started singing.

_Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up  
Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain Cave  
When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land  
Such a happy, and joyful and perky merry land_

_We've got lollipops, and gummy drops, and candy things  
Oh, so many things that will brighten up your day  
It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town  
It's the Mecca of lovely candy cave_

_We've got jelly beans and coconuts with little hats  
Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets  
Ride the candy train to town hear the candy band, candy bells  
It's a treat as they march across the land_

_Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground  
turn around it astounds it's a dancing candy treat  
In the candy cave imagination runs so free  
So now Harry please will you go into the cave!_

Then they flew away giggling insanely. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to make them shut up somehow. " Alright, fine. I'll go into the bloody candy cave. This better be good." He said walking into the entrance.

When he was in the inky cave there wasn't really nothing there. Just rocks and more rock and more bloody rock. Then he heard giggles from behind. Laughing childishly.

"Good bye Harry." Hermione laughed.

"Yeah, goodbye Harry."

"What!? Goodbye? What do you.." But never got to finished when a rock wall closed up the entrance. "I can't believe those son of a..." again he was interrupted by tapping feet. " Who's that? Hello?" then all of a sudden feeling pain, blacking out.

* * *

Harry moan when he woke up. Seeing only white he grabbed his glasses from the hospital wing, remembering what it looked like . He saw Dumbledore up at the end of the bed smiling. Thinking that there was a bug going around and told him if he where loopy. Dumbledore chuckled at the thought. "No, no, no. I am perfectly fine. Thank you for asking." he said still smiling.

'_At least it was an improvement compared to Ron and Hermione.'_ remembering those two name he looked at Dumbledore. "Professor have you seen Ron and Hermione by any chance?" He asked fearfully.

"Yes, I believe Ron and Hermione found you in the forbidden forest last night. You being there is beyond me, but yes, I have seen Ron and Hermione. They have been awfully worried about you."

"Yeah, right and I'm jo jo the air plain." He whispered.

"What was that Harry?"

"Oh nothing Professor. I'm just expressing my feelings to show how I care for my friends."

"Well that's good. Mrs. Poppy said that you could go with a little persuading." Dumbledore walked away and then turned around when he was near the door. "Oh, and by the way. Did you know that your kidney has been taken out, but not by are own accord. We don't really know who took it, but kidneys aren't really important, so don't worry. Good day." Then walked out.

Harry looked at the door shocked beyond shock. He was pissed. All the anger bottled up inside was let loose. "THEY TOOK MY FUCKING KINDEY?!! THOSE MOTHER... AAHHHH. I'M GOING TO KILL THEM!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Dumbledore who stopped at the end of the door still hearing Harry swearing like a... what did they called them. Sailors. Yes sailors. He smile and his eyes twinkled. "That went well. I wonder if they have any chicken pot pie today for lunch." he said walking away from the screaming door, going to the great hall for some pie.

* * *

"My lord? May I ask a question?" Snape said by his side.

"Yes my faithful sidekick... I mean my faithful servent?" Voldemort said looking in a jar, filled in what looked like red meat.

" Why and if this upsets you tell me my lord. Why, do you have a kidney in a jar?" Snape asked.

"Yes, I have Potters kidney."

"Um, my lord. I didn't ask you who's kidney they where. I asked why you have it?" he repeated.

"The kidney is going to make me win." Voldemort muddered.

"Um, my lord?"

"Win is the task in this house hold. No losers allowed. Then we will win by the kidney."

"Um, I'm sorry, what?"

"I will be victorious by the kidney. Are weapon of mass destruction." Voldemort laughed again.

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't see how you having Potters..."

"Leave Snape. Leave me and the kidney in peace for awhile." He said shaking the jar like a snow globe.

"Okay. My lord if there is anything..."

"I said leave or you will also be dead like the other worthless piece of wood they where." Voldemort said laughing evilly while looking in the jar.

"Um, right I'll just go..."

"I SAID LEAVE OR YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF THE KIDNEY! NOW LEAVE!" Voldemort screamed.

Snape quickly ran away from the room only hearing a glass shattering and after that a frail scream. "NOOOOO! The kidney is ruined. NOOOOO! CURSE YOU, YOU EVIL SON OF A.!!!!" the rest he couldn't hear, walking out the door and apparating far away from the psychotic place.

* * *

I hope you like it. I could not help it. It was so funny to me. I changed the ending. So review. Thank you and come again. 


End file.
